Today I have pulled a second card in the spread “Picture the Pain.” Yesterday I pulled my first card. Card Two is called “Awareness”. It shows an insight or a hunch, feeling or gut reaction, that will help you heal.
The card that I have pulled was Page of Swords, again from the Victorian Romantic Tarot.
I must be brief; it is late already. I never could get the right page-of-swords feeling when I looked at the RWS image. I just did never really felt what it means. This image looks resembles the RWS image, so that is important. I was used to very fast pages of swords in the Motherpeace Tarot, and in the Robin Wood Tarot, or very different ones (from the RWS). I always felt a sort of lost when this card came up in the RWS. Happily there was someone in class who kept pulling this card, on and on and on. I take that meaning for me now, because that applies really well to my situation, and I really feel it from the inside out as well. So this helped to get a grip on the card.
The person who pulled this card so often always pulled it when he was off starting something, but had no control over the outcome (the symbol on RWS image are the birds at his head). Also very important, it was always something which he did not master yet. Funny is that he pulled it when he had decided on a certain medical treatment; almost the same situation as I am in now (that treatment worked out very well for him by the way). My hunch is that in order to heal, I must go on with the treatment I have started, not knowing very much about it and not knowing what will happen. What I find hard is that every health issue from the past can come back in this treatment, also severe psychic conditions. I already have had a taste of that, and I am not looking forward to more of it. Happily I can always call the practitioner, she knows how it can work, but I really hope it never comes to that. I would hate that. Still, regardless of these nasty effects, my feeling is to go on with it, although I am in the dark about what it has in store for me. The promise is that I will be a lot stronger in the end.