Mr. Bennet sits in his library on his own. He likes to retreat in his library. He is almost always sitting there. That is me, sitting there, quite literally in fact. We have our library on the attic, and that is were I am situated writing my journal. I am surrounded by many, many books, just as Mr. Bennet. My journal was an instrument of introspection last year, a virtue of the Hermit. Often the insights were profound and confronting. It gave me great joy that I was able to write in my journal so often, with my hurting arms. Many a day I looked forward writing in it, alone on the attic in our library. Often I wrote late in the evening, after classes. That deprived me from sleep. Sometimes it helped me to get to sleep, in the nights that I could not sleep.
The second card that I have pulled is a recommendation for the next year of blogging. Seven of Candlesticks came up.
Pictured are Elizabeth Bennet and Lady Catharine de Bourgh from Pride and Prejudice. They are having an argument. In this argument Elizabeth firmly stands her ground against Lady de Bourgh, who is older and socially higher in rank. Elizabeth has purpose and courage doing what she does.
Purpose and courage is what I need in the next year. Purpose in what I want with my journal, and I need to stand behind myself and my -often slow and difficult- inner processes that I write about. I need courage in taking care that it is and stays my own journal. I must not be influenced to much by the knowledge of whom reads it, and hold myself back because of that, or being ashamed after writing a post. I often am, thinking about it now. So, Seven of Candlesticks will be quite a challenge for me.
Ah well, Lizzy has a place somewhere inside of me -just as Mr. Bennet has- so I must not worry too much.