The card that I have pulled to the question why little spiders are attracted to me in my last entry but did not interpret, was Ten of Quills of the Jane Austen Tarot.
Elizabeth Bennet is depicted on the card, a character from Pride and Prejudice. A man who likes her, Darcy is come to visit her. She is reading a letter in which is written that a man called Wickam eloped with her youngest sister. This means societal ruin. Lydia’s reputation is to the drain, but hers as well (…spiders, drain? There is this nursery rhyme. That is evil, but it was really a coincidence…). It is very sad for her because she did not liked Darcy before, but now she does. Her hope for marriage is lost. This card suggest endings, Elizabeth thinks all hope is lost.
chelsearoadsuggested that spiders might be attracted to me because within me is the power of life and death for them. I think that is true. They take great risks by coming to me, because indeed it is in my power to kill them, even accidently.
I take a second step now, seeing these spiders as power animals for me. This particular version of the Ten of Swords is about societal disapprovals. My daughter finds these spiders on me. My daughter is ten years old and extremely ashamed of my behavior and my clothes, of me in all ways : “Mama, button up your coat, and you must do that leave them like that the whole time I am with you!” “Mama stop talking in yourself”. She even has invented sign language to point all this out to me in a silent manner (so nobody hears it, that would be shameful). This reprimanding words and signs are bothering me a bit. It touches a vein of insecurity somewhere. Sometimes I do think that I should wear different clothes, that I should not shout out and so on. That indeed I do look and behave not well adapted. I said, following chelsearoad, that these spiders are attracted to me because of my power of life and death, so they take a big risks coming to me, having that power. Seen as power animals they teach me to go on being myself, taking risks in clothing and behavior.