”I am too loud when you are gone”, Leonard Cohen says in a poem, speaking of Jesus and missing him, comparing himself with John the Baptist.
A blog is something loud. Blogging is writing about yourself, and putting that out into the world, for everybody to read.
Because it is Sunday, and Leonard Cohen was in my blog somewhere this week (on August 18), I will pull a card today with a question inspired by one of his poems.
I am too loud when you are gone
I am John the Baptist, cheated by mere water
and merciful love, wild but over-known
John of honey, of time, longing not for
music, longing, longing to be Him
I am diminished, I peddle versions of Word
that don’t survive the tablets broken stone
I am alone when you are gone.
A blog is a loud thing, but at the the same time a blog is a fleeting thing, just like the newspaper. The paper from yesterday is old news, so is yesterday’s entry. Why bother? “I peddle versions of Word that don’t survive the tablets broken stone”, Leonard Cohen says about his poetry. And even “versions of Word” is too much said for my blogging, merely scraps of rumours, they are Thus, a blog is a loud as well as a fleeting thing. I choose the loudness for my question, but in a way, the fleetingness is included, because loudness is not there to stay.
The question I ask myself today is: “Why am I too loud?”
I pulled Justice as an answer to this question, from the Golden Tarot of the Tsar. Depicted is the archangel Michael, the angel who weights the souls of the dead, and fights for justice.
Justice brings balance (the scales on the card). It is my feeling that I do not have enough stage and outlets for myself and my thoughts, despite all the courses and workshops I teach, and all the space I take up in the Tarot Magazine' (I am a bit ashamed about that, but well, it is like this, I feel that way). Me being ‘too loud’ compensates for this lack of stage, it does 'justice' to that feeling, and brings balance in my life that way.