For the third time during this Way of the Cross I have pulled a Five, my Soul and Personality Card. The card that I have pulled is not easy to interpret as an answer to this question. I have drawn Five of Candlesticks (Wands) from the Jane Austen Tarot.
To begin with, the card does not depict someone who comforts me, but reflects an inner conflict I often have. The card pictures a scene from Northanger Abbey in which Catherine Moreland, the heroine of the story, walks away from her ‘friends’, because she is deeply uneasy about what they do. She fights for her personal integrity.
There is an interesting parallel between this card and the act of Veronica. It is risky for Veronica to do what she does with all the soldiers prodding Jesus along with his cross. They do not want his face wiped. Although far less severe, by walking away Catherine risks also something, she risks to lose her social place.
Often I doubt about the things that I have said and done, if it has been all right. What would comfort me is to focus on the integrity of what I do, and stand for it, that way walking away from the fear of rejection.