Today I have cleaned out the cupboards in my study. It needed to be done. I am tired, and my arms hurt, but it is worth it.
Still, it is Sunday, therefore I pull a card in search for an answer to a spiritual question. In the following meditation by Caitlín Matthews, about Mordron and Mabon, two figures out of the British myths. The soul is seen as a child. This fits in nicely with my work on the Inner Child Cards course, which I shall teach in the fall. At the end of the meditation I ask my question, it will be about the innocence of the soul.
"When will I see you, Mabon, my son?
When will I kiss you, my pretty one?"
"When the ages turn round at the brink of the sun,
When the birds at the wellhead have ended their song"
Caitlín Matthws, "Mabon's Journey"
This song is a dialogue between Modron and Mabon, respectively, the divine Mother and Son of British tradition. Mabon is eternally lost, taken from Modron's side when he was a baby - and just as eternally rediscovered and released.
Human need and sacred response are the two voices of their dialogue - a dialogue mirrored in our own. There is locked within us something so deep and sacred that we often feel we have lost or mislaid the key to the treasure. If we could see it, it would look like a child: simple, innocent, powerful as a shaft of light.
We may have ceased to search for this lost child long years ago; we may feel unworthy to call up the deep, sacred appearance of our own soul, believing that it will no longer answer so soiled a need as our own. And yet that part of us which is Modron, an urgent mother in search of her child, still rises when the need is strongest, descending to the darkest places, rousing any who will aid her quest for her child, the soul.
At the sharpest edge of need, Mabon still returns, down every age of the world, bearing a bright sword to defend the right. The integral innocence of the soul that lives within us cannot help but shine like a mirror, like a child whose innocence turns away harm. (From: Caitlín Matthews, The Celtic Spirit.)
Here is the question: What does the innocence of my soul look like?
The usual meaning of Four of Cups is being bored, and waiting for something new.
This version of the card depicts the prophet Elijah on Mount Horeb. In that story Elijah is fleeing for the powerful queen Jezebel who wants to kill him. On Mount Horeb Elijah meets God. God is not in a storm, not in a earthquake and not even in a huge fire. Elijah meets God in a gentle breeze after these events. It is one of my favorite stories in the Bible. I used it last May in my workshop at Heerenveen Natuurlijk.
I think the innocence of my soul -its childlike innocence- longs for God. It is disapointed, and just sits and waits till God arrives.
I am on vacation for five days now, with no acces to the internet, so I will not write in my journal.