October 9th, 2006


Sukkot Until Now


On the photo, a sukka in the night. After three days of inviting foremothers in my blog in celebration of Sukkot I feel a need for a little evaluation. I started out quite impulsively, in the dark, not having heard of this custom before last Friday. It has become more profound than I thought though, richer too, touching quite relevant themes in my life. I must say, I am more touched by biblical figures than by themes of the autumn, another important theme in by blog. But, this makes it also more intense, which does not suit me every day. 

What I really like, and did not think of when I started this, is that the foremothers form a spread because they have a place in the Tree of Life. Deborah is in the middle place, between the two others, Sarah (right) and Miriam (left). The card I pulled for Deborah is The High Priestess. The function of this middle card, which represents the sephira on the middle pillar of the tree, is to bring balance to the other two. Among other things, The High Priestess brings distance, detachment (instead of involvement). That is her message for me right now, as I look at her in relation to the other two cards (I will not go into that, takes too long). There will problably be more messages by her and by the others, I will be able see that when I have pulled more cards for other sephirot.
An absolute down-side is the time that it takes, which is much more than I expected. Although I always feel that the card is right on top, it is sometimes difficult to explain how foremother, sephira, card and my situation fit. This makes my entries longer, which I do not like, and it means also that I type more than I like. Another thing is the accessibility. Innocent people who take a stroll over my site and stumble over my blog will not always easily understand these entries, with their Jewish, biblical and kabbalistic terminology. Last but not least, I find the pressure of having promised to do a mother each day not easy to handle. 

On to Hannah, somewhere later today (much, much later).
rain with red heart

Sukkot, Hannah


This week the Jewish holiday Sukkot is celebrated.

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This week I invite seven foremothers in my blog, Sarah, Miriam, Deborah, Hannah, Abigail, Hulda and Esther, each on one day, to teach me something. 

Today I invite Hannah in my blog. Her picture hangs on the wall. Hannah is associated with the virtue selflessness and the sephira Netzach (Eternity) on the Tree of Life.  What does Hannah teach me today? 


The card I have pulled as a response to this question is Five of Wands from the Tarot of the 78 Doors. This card shows aptly my feelings. I want to change certain situations in my life, but I cannot. I am frustrated so much that I see myself standing as the man on the card seeking an opening, wanting even to force an entry, force a change. 


Hannah does not have a child. She desperately wants a child, but her womb stays closed. She cannot do anything besides praying and crying. When she prays for a child in the temple she cries so much the priest thinks that she is drunk. When she says she is not drunk but praying, the priest promises her that she will be given what she is asking for.

Hannah is an expert in waiting and in crying, in mourning the child she does not have. In doing this she teaches me to feel sorrow, to cry about the changes that will not come, possibly never.

Next to the man on the card there is a tree with green, young leaves. The man does not see them. Hannah shows them  to me I would almost say, at least I can see them. Is there a promise of something new? Will something change, unexpectedly? Well, I do not know about that, but I shall be able to cope better with the lack of change, if I feel sorrow instead of frustration. That is new life for me. 

On the photo: At  the leftside is in this sukka a poster that shows the forefathers.