January 9th, 2007

Madonna del "Magnificat" (detail)

A Gnawing Crocodile

Sometimes a tarot card helps, sometimes it does not. To be on the optimistic side, often a card helps, and sometimes it does not. This morning, feeling down, I thought to draw a card to enhance my day. I pulled the Magician from the Fantastic Menagerie Tarot. Well, this was the exactly the opposite of how I felt, someone with flair, making things happen in a wink of a moment. “Away with that card,” I thought, too much of a challenge. No lack of decks, so I turned to the Inner Child Cards, and pulled a second card with a new question: “What helps me now?” Then I received the Star. On this card a little boy throws a coin in a well for luck, guided by a bright star. “Oh no,” I thought, “I cannot conjure up hope, nor follow my star.” That did not help.

Questions enough! I thought to draw a card with yet another question: “What do I need to look at?” It is the question Mary Greer always asks the cards. That had to be good! Now I received Ten of Swords from the Menagerie Tarot. On this card is a is crocodile dressed as a gentleman, but with sharp teeth (representing the ten swords) and a stark-dead rat. Yes, well, it told me I was feeling down and out, but I knew that already. 


But to be honest, the gnawing teeth of the crocodile do tell me something. It is me and me myself that is putting me down, by gnawing at myself, by being very angry at the way I have organized my life. I should not do that, it hurts. Tarot does help, often.

One thing today is great. Aline -she does not have a journal (yet!), so I cannot put a little link here to show who she is, but I have mentioned her before- took three supermarket-bags home with her from my house, all filled with cards, to scan them in for my lessons.