May 9th, 2007

bruiloft te Kana

New, but Scary Behaviour

Today I asked the question ”New, but scary behaviour” to the tarot. 

Again I’ve pulled the Inner Child Cards to work with. I was surprised, I pull them so often lately, but today it makes sense, because I was at an evening for breast-cancer patients with the Inner Child Cards. The theme of this evening was “Complementary Care”. I was a great evening. A music-therapist made music with us, someone told about the work she had done in creative therapy, and the evening ended with a very relaxing visualization. I did not read cards (well a few, but not all evening). I had a little table with flyers and the cards and some enlarged cards that could stand up. I always have a purple tablecloth on these occasions, but now I did have a pink one. The colours of the cards went well with that.

Now over to the “new, but scary behaviour”. I picked the “Midas Touch” (Justice) as an answer. 


The story of Midas is that he wished that everything he touched became gold. Unfortunately he touched his daughter, who turned into gold as a consequence. Midas was very unhappy, regretted his wish and wanted to make her alive again. To do that he had to dive deep in a pool, to fetch a vase with water. With water from the made her live again. Symbolically the story tells that Midas had to connect with his feeling-side again. This water in the pool and the vase suggest this.

For me the new but scary behaviour is firstly not to stare myself blind on the courses I want to give (because I must study really hard for them) but let that go. That is really new behaviour. Makes me feel empty, which is new.

There is yet something else. I am feeling quite sad lately, that is a feeling. I am not so busy for the first time in two years. I finished writing a course last year that took up a lot of time. I felt much happier when I was so busy. That could also be my new behaviour, not hiding in busyness in order to escape certain unpleasant feelings, but just feel what is there. But feeling sad… To be honest I do not trust that feeling, hmm, it does not belong to my favourites.
tiffany angel met lamp

Vision Beyond Sight

Yesterday evening in a manifestation of breast cancer patients, organized by our local hospital, I had a little table set up with my Inner Child Cards, and flyers for a workshop. The manifestation was held in an hotel on the outskirts of Heerenveen. “Shall I drive you?” my husband had asked beforehand. I had not accepted it, because this was something I could go to by bike. But when the evening was finished and I stepped outside, I noticed that it was dark, very dark. I had not realized that before. I had to bike through a dark wood all the way home. For long streches there were no houses at all, and on the spots with houses, they were far away from the bicycle-pathl. Now I understood my why my husband did his proposal to bring me. I was scared, and despised wearing an orange raincoat! I tried to see what was before me and beside me, and one time I thought I saw something suspicious, but it were only two people walking their dog…

Today I’ve asked the tarot a question about seeing in the dark. It is inspired by a spell for increasing night vision. You are meant to use a tiger’s eye stone (in a pendant or a ring), light incense associated with vision such as frankincense or clove, and wave the stone through the smoke while saying:

   Tiger-eye stone
   that I hold,
   Flickering with
   brown and gold,
   Lend me vision
   beyond sight
   As cats see through
   dark of night

My question is: "How can I have vision beyond sight, see as a cat through dark of night?"

I’ve picked the Motherpeace Tarot to work with from my little bag with five deck-titles, and I’ve pulled Three of Wands. The card is funny enough situated in a dark cave, as dark as my wood late in the evening, the cave is lit with torches. Children and a woman are drawing on the wall of the cave. 


In the Motherpeace version of the Three of Wands the theme is childlike, inhibited creativity. Adapted to my situation it means that I must not be shy driving through the dark woods, hiding away in my raincoat (which is quite impossible in an orange one anyway), but direct my energy outward, showing a vibrant personality, which gives me the self-confidence of seeing in the dark. I also need to reach out more, making connections with all what is out there, to feel what is going on instead of trying to see it.

On the other level the card shows me that my way of “having vision beyond sight” is through inhibited creativity. Writing, drawing, using my imagination and do all this in a playful way, helps me to see what is beyond sight.

Poem and spell: Elizabeth Barrette, “Night Vision Spell”. In: Llewellyn’s Witches’ Spell-A-Day Almanac, Llewellyn, 2006 (May 10).