July 6th, 2007

Madonna del "Magnificat" (detail)

The Headless Horseman of Dis-ease: Card 2

“What do I wish to punish and how is anger located in my physical body” are the questions belonging to the second position of The Headless Horsemen of Dis-ease, the spread I am doing right now in my journal. The position itself is called Anger. The spread comes from the book "Tarot for the Healing Heart" by Christine Jette. The card that I have pulled as an answer to the question is Four of Pentacles from the Victorian Romantic Tarot. 


The card applies to me in several ways:

1. The person on the card makes me evokes angriness in me. She won’t let go. I’m standing right in front of her, and she is very unhappy, but she won’t budge and do something about it, but gets me to do the hard work. Why do I get so angry about it? I must stop immediately doing the hard work. Drama triangle here.

2. Seen as an attitude in me, than the person represents a frustration. She represents work and activities that I cannot speed up or do fast enough myself. The person also represents me, the part of me that won't change and relax a bit more, or the part of me that is not fast enough. All of this makes me very angry and frustrated, and indeed I want to punish myself or sometimes the activities which are frustrating me. .

3. Seen as the way anger is expressed in my physical body, than I am bottling up, which gives a lot of tension (...I guess..) Often I am not very aware of my anger at the moment itself, it comes later (too late really). The anger is expressed in my body as frowns in my forehead, tension in the muscles of my arms and in my upper body. It feels if I am going to explode. That bad. 
When I am frustrated about tasks that I have to do, I do feel my anger immediately. It expresses itself in the same way as I have described in the above, as if I am going to explode. Awesome.