August 10th, 2007

Madonna del "Magnificat" (detail)

The Sword and the Leper, Henry Tilney as Brigid

Tired today. I do not why, might have worked too intense, and yesterday evening we went away. My daughter takes part in a week for the children of our village. It is in the woods. All week they build boots for their own groups (of eight children). Yesterday evening we have been to the evening for parents, saw the hut of our daughter and saw the performances they had prepared for us. The hut was wonderful. They had painted dinosaurs on it (the theme was the Stone Age) and there even was even a little path laid out from twigs to their hut. It is great that this event is organized here. It is especially done for deprived children.

Today I’ve pulled the last card in the spread about the story of the The Sword and the Leper, about St. Brigid. It is the card for Brigid that I have pulled with the question of how her attitude is present in me. Before I pulled the card I had some feelings of reservation towards her. She is so self-righteous, so very firmly standing for what she thinks is right, that irriates me. I do not think there would be any compromise for her, ever. To work together with her would be really hard. So I wondered what card I would receive. It was the Knight of Candlesticks (Knight of Wands) from the Tarot of Jane Austen, the deck I use for this spread. 

                                            

Yes, well, on seconds thoughts, I post this first, without interpreting it. I hesitated what to do first, because I also want to reflect a little bit on the cards I received for the two chieftains. I think reflecting on them first will give insight to the Knight of Candlesticks.
  • Current Mood: exhausted exhausted
bruiloft te Kana

The Sword and the Leper: The Two Chieftains

I am still occupied with the “The Sword and the Leper”, a story about St. Brigid in which her father, a chieftain, tries to sell her to a neighbouring chieftain because she gives away all the food there is in the larder. The neighbouring chieftain does not want to buy Brigid, because she is “too honest” for him. Frankly she had said to him that she would give away all his wealth and that of her father to the sisters and brothers of Christ.

I want to reflect a little bit more on the two chieftains, because they have the same position in society; they are both chieftain, master of a household and the card that I have pulled for their attitude in me are both sad cards.

For the father, who sells Brigid, I had pulled: Three of Quills (Three of Swords) which meant to my that I tend to act cruel and ungenerous when I have feelings of loss and sorrow, when I feel an emptiness inside. 

                               

For the neighbouring chieftain who does not want to buy Brigid, I had pulled Four of Quills (Four of Swords), on which a young woman lies in a bed, gravely ill. She has neglected herself, because she is heartbroken. Buying Brigid would mean being heartbroken, confronted with the struggle for existence of people, with poverty, sickness and anxiety, because Brigid is associated to them by her attitude. 

                                               
                                    
Interesting is that these both cards that show an attitude of “no” towards the generous Brigid, are cards of loss and sorrow, caused by unanswered love. So, my feeling of not being loved brings forth ungenerous behaviour in both cases.

To me Marianne Dashwood on Four of Quills is the worst of these two cards, because the lack of physical self-care and the hopelessness that speaks from it. Jane Bennet on Three of Quills takes care of herself; she is dressed beautiful and there are many flowers in the card. The roses have sharp thorns, but nevertheless, these flowers breath the hope of spring. It is odd that I find the card for the neighbouring chieftain worse than the one for the father, because giving away your own daughter is much worse than not buying a daughter from your neighbour.

But, you could also say that there is no hope for the world if one knows what is honest, as the neighbouring chieftain does: namely that one should help the sick and the needy, but at the same time rejects the one who acts upon it, Brigid.

Here is my inner conflict (again): must do something (for the sick and the needy), but cannot because of the feelings of loss and emptiness.

This must be it for tonight. It is late already.