I have found my little Ma’at Tarot, it was hidden from view beneath a book.
The first position of the Cinderella Victim Spread, the spread that I am doing to become (a little bit) familiar with the Ma’at Tarot (by Julie Cuccia-Watts) is: “Sitting in the Ashes - This represents what locks us into our own victim mentality”. I have pulled 9 of Swords, First Quarter Moon in Pisces in this position. In the structure of the deck the card belongs in the last period of Autumn. It is a heavy time, winter is almost there, the nights are long and get longer still.
The suggestion in the workbook by Corrine Kenner is that dreams, often strange, are a path to connect with the spirit world. The card shows me my victim mentality. I am victimized by my worries and my fears. They often come during the night -although they can be there as well during the day- the swords on the card represent them. These worries and fears are most of the time unnecessary and not based in reality. Based on spooks.
I often think about this card in the RWS version in those nights: that I succeed in lying down, having the universe with roses and star signs as my blanket. In the Ma’at version of the card a bouquet of roses is presented to the woman in bed – undoubtedly from the spirit world. Accepting that, and with it the lovely scent of roses would be wonderful , and helpful. But that is just the problem, accepting these flowers and accepting the universe as blanket is what is so difficult at those moments. The worries and fears prevail and that is what locks me in my victim mentality.