August 31st, 2007

Madonna del "Magnificat" (detail)

Cinderella's Victim Spread, Card 2 (part 2): Divine Child

I cannot sleep. Just after I finished my entry about the second card of the Cinderella’s Victim Spread, which showed me the loss that triggered my victim behavior, I thought of a second interpretation of the card. The card I have pulled was the Magician from the Ma’at Tarot. I wrote in this entry that this card belongs to the full moon in Cancer. What I forgot to tell and forgot to include in my interpretation is that this full moon card is situated in the wheel of the year from December 21 to January 19. It starts at the Winter Solstice. Therefore shows the birth of the sun. The sun is born at the time the world is at its darkest, at the time the world needs the sun the most. In myth many divine children, symbolizing the sun, were said to be born at that time, for example Jesus and Dionysius. Of these children is expected much. The hope is they are or become ‘magicians’ in their lives, performing miracles, making all good what went bad. They are the hope of the world. 


I was thinking that this -in a sense- applies for me too. Often I have too high expectations of myself and I often I feel guilty of not meeting them. That results in a lot of worry, and sleepless nights. Thus, it is the loss of the divine child in myself, who finds itself magical and almighty, that causes the victim mentality, the worrying, sleepless me.