September 1st, 2007

bed by semyaza

Cinderella's Victim Spread, Card 3: Fluids and Cycles

Again I cannot sleep. The feature in Windows Start Menu “Recently Opened Documents” does not work, probably never worked. It is not there where I should be able to see and choose It. It does not work in Word 2007 too. I clicked and clicked. Not good for the arms. So I must be short, which is not all that easy with the complicated deck I am working with. That is the Ma’at Tarot by Julie Cuccia-Watts, and I am using the Ma’at Workbook by Corrine Kenner to interpret the cards. It can be done, but I might be missing out on many myths and stories to the cards from the big book that belongs to the deck.

The card I pulled today is the Moon. I pulled it in the fairy tale spread “Cinderella’s Victim Spread”. It is the third card in the spread, and it represents the first ugly stepsister; it shows how my victim mentality affects me on a physical level.

Again it is an interesting card. The Moon in this tarot is a wild card that slips in to adept the lunar calendar to the Julian, solar based calendar. It is the ‘Blue Moon”. Its task is to remind us that time and the cycles of life flow seamlessly, they adept without hindrance. 

                     

My worries (card one, my victim mentality) have a profound effect on my health. I cannot sleep, so time and cycles are disturbed  themes of the Moon – I do not sleep when I should and I do not get enough rest and relaxation. The cycles and fluids in my body are affected as well. Blood does not flow easy through my tensed muscles, which results in pain. The cycle of digesting food is disturbed too, giving me stomach aches. So my bodily cycles and fluids are very mucy affected.

Many of these complaints are caused by not-being-able-to-let go, not being able to adapt to what happens, not going with the flow. That is interesting. This fits the first card perfectly: the woman on the Nine of Swords cannot turn away from her problems, cannot let them rest for a while, letting the universe take care of them for a little while. 
  • Current Mood: exhausted exhausted
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Madonna del "Magnificat" (detail)

Cinderella's Victim Spread, Card 4: Yule as Devil

In the fairytale tarot spread “Cinderella’s Victim Spread", I have today pulled a card for the Ugly Stepsister 2. The card represents how my victim mentality affects me on a mental level. The card I have pulled is The Devil, depicting a the goddess Yule, who at winter Solstice gives birth to the sun. I have pulled her for the second time, ton he Magician, the card that represented a loss that caused my victim mentality is also Yule depicted. The card stems from the Ma'at Tarot by Julie Cuccia Watts.

There runs a strong mother theme trough this spread, the Magician, The Devil and the Moon (my card of yesterday) are all related to motherhood, to giving life, nurturing and protecting it. Even Nine of Wands, the first card in the spread is related to the theme of the mother. The nines belong to the moon in the Tree of Life. I let this rest for now, but I hope to stay aware of it. 

                            

Yule on this card transforms singlehandedly darkness into light and spirit into matter. Yule as Magician meant to me the lack of feeling protected and the high expectations of myself. Those issues are causing my nosedive into victim mentality. On this card the goddess Yule represents the Devil. The the card is meant positive; the ability to bring light into darkness is constructive. Problem is that I cannot do that, bring the light in the darkness. I hold on the darkness, I cannot transform the worries or let them go. I do not use my power in that, the power of the Devil and the Magician.  

...Independency, that could be an issue here too... Yule as Devil and as Magician acts independently. Cannot make anything much of that right now. But might be of importance.
  • Current Mood: sore sore
Madonna del "Magnificat" (detail)

Cinderella's Victim Spread, Card 5: Hermit, Light on the World

Just a moment ago I have pulled the fifth card in the “Cinderella’s Victim Spread”, using the Ma’at Tarot from Julie Cuccia-Watts. It is a nine again: The Hermit. I received the card as an answer to the question: “how affects my victim mentality me on a spiritual level” (the question is derived from the wicked stepmother).

The card belongs to the full moon in Capricorn in the system of the Ma’at Tarot, which is between June 21-Juy 22. Depicted is Ra, Egyptian god of the afternoon and the sun. Every afternoon he climbs to a mountaintop and sheds light on the world. 

                           

The card shows to me that I cannot act from a higher place of wisdom, rise up out of my worries and nine-of-swords moonish delusions and fears, shedding light on myself on my situation and that of others, putting things into perspective, independent and in control.

This card is related somehow to my loss, card two. Every card is in the spread is related to this one, because the loss causes the vicitim mentality, but this card especially. I have drawn the Magican for it, the card that belongs to the full moon in Cancer, starting with the Winter Solstice, on December 21 and ending on January 19. It is opposite the card I have pulled today in the wheel of the year. My loss was lack of  protection and perfectionism. Probably the card is saying: "You do not need protection so much, or being divine, you are strong and in control enough!"

I hope this all is not too much of a fallen bookshelf. I hope it makes any sense. 
  • Current Mood: tired tired