September 23rd, 2007

tiffany angel met lamp

Mabon (Fall Equinox)

Days off pass quickly. At 22.30 yesterday evening I burned some incense and was ready to do my Mabon reading (Fall Equinox), a task I had been looking forward too all day. The spread was called “Balance of Power” by Christine Jette from her book Tarot for all Seasons, and I used the Tarot of Prague for it.

The first card and the last card of the reading really stuck out, but first the majority of cards. Almost all cards were extremely outgoing. My feelings about abundance were represented by The Emperor (Card 5); Six of Wands was the card for Work and Career (Card 6). I’ve pulled Three of Wands for my attitude of power (Card 3) and Strength for my ego-drive (Card 4). Furthermore, the King of Wands showed the manner I protect myself (Card 7). It could be the art of the deck -lots of statutes- but many cards showed a masculine, tough and firm energy. I am not used to think about myself that way.

Card 1, called “Awareness”, which demonstrated what to be aware off, was one of the two cards that stood out. It was Two of Swords. Also the card called “Health” (Card 8) stood out, that was the card that showed the area which was the most out of balance. Eight of Swords was the card I received in that position. 


In the lay-out the first card, the awareness card, is at the bottom. It is as if the woman on the Two of Swords -which was in that position- is upholding all the cards with her swords, wearing a blindfold, not wanting to see what she is doing. It is as if I am afraid not to be up to my workload or if I do not dare to see my successes and the outward, masculine energy. The anxious lion whose crown almost falls from his head, accentuates this: “I am not going to make it”, he whimpers. Both themes (fear of workload/fear of success) come back at the “Health” position, which was Eight of Swords. I am fenced in by fears and scary thoughts.

Yet another card differed from them all. It was male one but not with the firm, outgoing energy. That was the card I received for my blessings (Card 2). Walking in the Golden Lane, the Hermit shows me my blessings. 


My blessing is to be able to have time alone, and time to reflect. The Hermit will give the wisdom to remove my blindfold and lower my swords.          
Madonna del "Magnificat" (detail)

A Special Way of Learning

It was interesting what husband  coen_wesselhad to say in his sermon about Psalm 119, and different than the way I see and use it for my course and article. The accent was on ‘learning’, which is one of the usual views on the psalm, but Coen had a special take on ‘learning’.


Coen meant 'learning-with-the-heart' instead of 'by heart'. 'Learning with the heart'  is forgetting what you have learned to learn it anew on the following day. If you for example read at six o’clock in a meditative book about forgiving and it helps you at eight to let go of your anger, than those two hours of remembering are long enough, than you can forget it, it had has it use then. The message was surprising. He used a saying of the Desert Fathers to explain it; a result of studying their often strange spirituality during summer, from which some of it is very worthwhile.

More than a week ago I journaled about the song I entered in the conquest at our congregation of the “most loved hymn”. Two very different hymns ended as first and second close to each other. The one that ended on the second place belongs to the left part of the Dutch churches: “The Desert will Flower” by Huub Oosterhuis (an important Dutch writer of new church music). The hymn that made it to the first place was “Abba Father”, a solemn evangelical hymn. It shows how diverse our congregation is. My feminist-themed song “She sits as a Bird” was only voted for once, by me. 

Last Sunday I was listening to Coens' broadcasting. We know now that he is accepted for the program. That means he has to go once a month to the studio on a Sunday, far away from here. Boring for us; but nice for him. Often the themes are political, and he likes to be challenged by that.