November 27th, 2007

chanukah animated

Chanukah Spread: Card 5, K - Kadosh

Today I have drawn the fifth card in the Chanukah spread. The letter K belongs to this position meaning Kadosh (sacred). The question is: “What is sacred to you?”

I have pulled Seven of Squills from the Tarot of Jane Austen. Pictured is Mrs. Norris – again – from Mansfield Park. Mrs. Norris is someone whose first priority it is to get her own needs and desires met. She is not an honest person and her deeds are questionable. 

                       

This seems to be not a good card to pull for what is most sacred to me. Still, the card is right. Thing is, I love shopping and buying books on whatever I am interested in. More often than not, these are books about spirituality and religion; themes that are of importance to me. I always keep secret what I have bought. Just as Mrs. Norris, who seems hiding something stealthily on the card, I do that to. It makes the books more valuable and sacred somehow.

Now that I think of it, I am someone who does not talk easily about what is sacred to her. I feel vulnerable in that. There is stealth in that too. This attitude is not a beneficial one. It has made me lonely, and it can still, if I fall in this pattern of behavior.  

I had not expect this card at all.             
pretty lady

Fear and Frivolity

Fear, and frivolity followed on fear, that was my day.
This morning at nine I was at the hospital for a mammographic. Each year I must  have one. It is routine, but still, these appointments serve a goal, something might be wrong. When it was finished and I was putting on my clothes, suddenly the nurse came in and said: “Did you have cysts on both sides?’. 
“Oh no, there is something wrong”, I thought immediately. 
“It is not on the form,” she said. 
That did not reassure me. Scared I went to the waiting room. Leafing through a magazine titled “Beautiful Homes” I thought about my husband and daughter, about the happy family card I pulled yesterday, and how I would cope if there was something wrong. There was not. After ten minutes of waiting I was sent home. Extremely relieved.
A few hours later Margreet, friend and neighbor called: if I would buy underwear from Bjorn Borg or Diesel for a present in the name of Saint Nicolas for a friend of hers. In Holland underwear from Bjorn Borg and Diesel is very fashionable, but not something that would come into my mind to buy. So this was what I did this afternoon. I went for some real frivolous shopping.
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    relieved relieved