December 19th, 2007

Madonna del "Magnificat" (detail)

Christmas Tree

Today we decorated our Christmas tree. For three years we have used the same tree, but he is so fragile and thin now, we wanted to let it rest in the garden. My husband and I wondered how the tree felt about that. Our daughter of eleven thought this was an utterly ridiculous thought. “She is in a rationalist phase,” my husband said wisely.

So this year we had a tree to decorate with many, many branches. It looks lovely (not meaning any disrespect to our tree in the garden).
juwelenkist, vanitas

Third Week of Advent, Wednesday

I was thinking today -decorating the Christmas tree and caring for the Advent candles- that expecting Christmas is much more enjoyable than the actual days of Christmas. But probably these days did not mean anything to me, if I did not prepare for them. The prayer of today is about expecting.

The prayer is: “Make straight the crooked paths in our hearts, Lord and let us be ready for your love.”

I wonder, What paths need to be made straight in my heart, to be ready for the love of God?

The card I received is Four of Coins from the Tarot of Jane Austen. Pictured is a scene of Sense and Sensibility. On the card a woman called Fanny is counting money. John Dashwood, her husband, had promised a dying father of two girls that he would take care of them and there mother, but Fanny does not want to give anything away in case she would not have enough. She is scared. 


This is a Scrooge card; fits in the season very well. I do have this fear of not having enough. I do recognize it. But I think what the card also alludes to is to my anger. I am holding on to anger, cannot let it go. That hardens my heart, so that the love and happiness of God cannot flow in.