February 8th, 2008


Friday after Ash Wednesday

I have been to Amsterdam today for a new course about psalm 119. I am curious how the different spiritual roads will evolve, what will happen in the weeks to come. Much to think about!

But now I need to focus on my own process for a moment. I have pulled a card alongside a story from John (1:40-42).

"One of the two who heard John, and followed him, was Andrew, Simon Peter’s brother. 41 He first found his own brother, Simon, and said to him, “We have found the Messiah!” 42 He brought him to Jesus. Jesus looked at him, and said, “You are Simon the son of Jonah. You shall be called Cephas” (which is by interpretation, Peter)."
    Simon receives another name by Jesus. His new name is meaningful. Cephas, which means Peter, is an ambiguous name. Peter means rock in Latin, but Peter did not behave as a rock. He betrayed Jesus when was questioned after Jesus was arrested. 


My question is: what is the name Jesus gives me?

The Devil is the card that I have pulled as an answer to this question - for the second day in a row. In this deck –the Arthurian Tarot- the card is called The Green Knight. 


The Green Knight represents challenges. He is fierce but humorous too. He shows our self-limitations and tries to get us away from rigid patterns, by making us uncomfortable or angry. At least that is how I meet him often. By meeting them, we are challenged and invited to change.

The name Jesus gives me is The Green Knight, the Challenger. I am honestly surprised. I never realized I was that fierce, and challenging. I do not know about that...I do not like being uncertain about cards, but here I am. There is another possible reading. The name can also be meant as a task. Just as Peter is a rock, but does not live up to it; I can be named Green Knight, Challenger but not live up to it. The name suggest then that I should dare to challenge more, not being afraid to do that.    

I always say in courses (readings are easier): "I hope you do not mind...but..." Then they say: "I does not matter if it is painful. It helps." And then I go on; it is a quite comical process. I never seem to learn that it does not matter.    

Oh I don't know.