March 13th, 2008

Madonna del "Magnificat" (detail)

Station 4, Jesus Meets his Mother

At the fourth station of the cross Jesus meets his mother. When something terrible happens to children, when they become serious sick for instance, mothers often say: “I wish it had happened to me. That would make it more bearable.” It is extremely hard to live your life while your child suffers, or to live on when they die. It is the same for lovers who have lost their loved one, or for close relatives. Still it is Mary’s task, just as it is for all mothers, partners and lovers to live their lives, to go on living while their loved are suffering or are dead. 


My question is: how to live my life when people close to me suffer, or how do I take up the task of living while I am grieving? This is a hard question to answer. I have pulled Five of Crystals (Swords), from the Voyager Tarot called “Negativity”. 

The card reflects my view on the question I suppose, that it is a difficult question, but it also gives me a tool. It says: “Do not indulge in negativity”. I do not think it is meant that I must to be ‘happy’ all the time; grief cannot be denied. But what needed is: another focus, a second voice. 

Gifts from Tarot

This evening we had our course on dreaming and tarot. For this evening we had planned to do a spread. We had put titles of several spreads in an envelope and the participants had to pull the spread that helped in exploring their dream. I had put one spread extra in. It was an archetype spread (based on a spread by Mary Greer) that we agreed to leave out because it was too complicated for this occasion; the deck needs to be divided in five for the spread and that takes time. But when I did put the titles in the envelope there were not so many spreads, and I liked the spread when saw it again, so well, I did put it in (I thought my collegue would not mind). There were three people tonight and they all pulled the archetype spread to work with!  What’s more, they all pulled the same Ace (you must pull a card from the aces in the spread). It was a great spread to work with, a profound spread.
I saw this as a little practical joke by the tarot but also as a gift. We, my colleague Lidy and I often discuss if we can work with one spread for all the dreams in an evening. Until now we have never dared to do it, because the themes of the dreams are so different from each other. But we know now that we can do it!    
There was another gift. Someone who usually works with the Osho Zen Tarot, had forgotten her cards, and used my extra deck of Inner Child cards. The makers of this deck  have depicted themselves on two cards. I do not like it, and I find it difficult to relate to one of these cards because of it. This card was drawn by the person who had forgotten her Osho Zen deck. The personal story she told about her life in relation to the card makes that I can forget the maker that is depicted and relate to much better. Her story is the card ‘lived out,’ and person involved looked like the maker on the card. It was a truly amazing evening.