February 6th, 2009

heart candle

Grief

Cards are sometimes quicker than my feelings. Yesterday I pulled the Hermit from the Victorian Romantic Tarot. 

                   

The question for the card was inspired by a story about Brigid. The card showed my grief. I knew I felt alone, but well, I did not take it that seriously. Lying awake for a long time last night, I realized that I miss something. I miss the group in which I participated to organize a celebration of Candlemas. The service was last Sunday, on February 1. The celebration was part of a missionary project from the Protestant Church in Holland. It was meant for members of congregations involved in creating new forms of liturgy for people that have left, or almost leave the church. The preparation was an intense process. It involved writing a liturgy with five people from different backgrounds. I really miss them now it is over. I was not so very aware of that, at the moment I pulled the Hermit. Seeing the card again today, my eyes fall on the sickle (death) and the hourglass (sign of the time).

And while this preparation was going on, by mail, telephone, and meetings, I worked very hard on my course about Psalm 119 and the tarot (part 3) and started to teach it, which is quite exciting. So I am surprised about my grief, I did not expect it.

No sunbeam yet.