March 19th, 2009

pink rose

Lent, Thursday, Third Week

I worked intense on a course for next year, and then on a difficult -but lovely- project of the church, and yesterday I felt sick. I have not pulled my cards for days. I miss the reflection on my inner processes. So I am glad I am able to make an entry today.

The card that I have pulled today is an answer to the question: What is the truth about me that liberates me? The question is based on a saying of Jesus in John about truth that liberates.

My card comes from the Tarot of Jane Austen: it is the Lovers. Depicted is Mr. Darcy, who looks to Elizabeth Bennett at the window. Caroline Bingley stands behind him, and wants his attention, but he does not see her. They are characters from Pride and Prejudice. 

                      

Mr. Darcy needs to choose between the two woman on the card. What will liberate me is that I need to make a choice. What I need to be aware off in the choice, is my need to be liked. That makes it hard to say 'no', I do not do this, when someone wants something from me or wants to be with me. I need to be on the look out that this will not motivate my behavior and choices too much. I think that is the truth about me that liberates me. Knowing that truth, I can try to set out my own course – and hopefully the lovely Caroline Bingley at the open window with fresh air, will marry me.