The spread is about two aspects of God: judgment and compassion. The spread works as follows. The Hebrew letter belonging to Justice in the system I use in this course is Chet. This letter consists of two ‘pillars’ and a ‘roof’.
I made an oracle of the letter, using the form of the letter, cutting it in pieces. The two pillars are the cards of the oracle. On one pillar is written Judgment and on the other one Compassion/Kindness. People need to cut the letter with scissors during the lesson. Then they must shuffle the two pillars, and lay both them closed on the table, with the words facing towards the table, so they cannot see it. They need to put the ‘roof’ of the letter above the pillar, to make a real letter Chet. After that they pull one card with the question how they relate to the aspect of judgment of God and to aspect of compassion, and how they experience their relation with God regarding this theme. They must lay the card somewhere in the letter, at a place that feels right to them. It can be in the middle, or towards one of the pillars. After that they turn around the pillars and the card. I hope this is a little bit hilarious and playful, and that it gives some truth too.
This is my spread.
When I turned the pillars and the card around, my card was lying towards the pillar with the word Justice on it. That means I experience the judging side of God more than the compassionate side. My card was Eight of Pentacles from the Robin Wood Tarot.
I am like a child, a pupil who is learning, working hard, striving for perfection so that so that he (which is me) will not be judged as ‘bad’, or not good enough. The boy looks relaxed enough and there is fresh air coming in. Still, it is hard this strive for perfection, but many cards that I have drawn this past week were much more cruel than this one. Besides, those earlier cards were not God’s judgments, but my own.
By accident I threw away the pillar with the word judgment on it before I did the spread. I could not find it anywhere. Obviously I wanted it gone unconsciously. I found it again in the wastepaper basket – crushed. Then I crushed the pillar of compassion too, otherwise I could not do the spread, they were not the same anymore.