Today I have done a reading for Christmas, after church to which I went with my daughter dressed as one of the Three Kings, and before dinner, with mussels and plum pudding.
The spread is inspired by a painting by Cosmè Tura, “Madonna and Child in a Garden” and consists of two positions. I’ve sent this spread and painting as a Christmas wish to all tarot- lovers I know.
The first position of the spread is derived from the little sleeping Jesus on the painting. Dreams and longings come up during sleep. The first card is: My longing…
The card that I have drawn for this position is the Seeker of Hearts from the Inner Child Cards. Depicted is a Knight in armour on a horse; it is the Tin-man from the Wizard of Ozz. He holds a staff in his hand on which a dove is sitting on top, carrying a heart. The knight has an open door in his armour at the place of his heart, which is empty. By caring for others, he learns that he has a heart.
I feel as rusty as the tin man. My arms and muscles are hurting from cleaning and putting the Christmas decorations in the tree, and I long for more heart. I am feeling guilty all morning about all sorts of things: that I did not ask enough, did not talk enough to people was not nice enough… I feel as rusty as the tin man. Because I literally feel as rusty as the tin-man, probably my hurting arms and muscles get worse by feeling guilty. I long for a living without feeling guilty so often.
The second position is inspired by the caring hands of Maria, who protect little Jesus. The question is: “How to protect my wish, so that it will blossom?”
The card that I have pulled is Three of Crystals from the Inner Child Cards (Three of Pentacles in the RWS, but the meaning is different). On that card a little dwarf girl is rope skipping with two others. She must jump in the rhythm of the rope. The little dwarf girl has very little freedom; she cannot do anything else than jump to the beat.
What I do right now, by feeling guilty, is jumping to the beat, to the expectations of others (to be honest they are mine, I do not really know if people have expectations, it is just my feeling and perspective, but still..). What I need to do is freeing myself of the expectations from which I think that are asked of me. I think I can free myself of them by putting myself in the centre, and besides that, become aware of the heart that I do have, of the love that I give to others, while looking less at the things I did not do as I had wanted them to do.