In the time leading up to Imbolc I have pulled this card another time. The card showed then in what area of my life I needed more discipline. I needed more discipline in being carefree and autonomous, not seeing myself through the eyes of others, and not living through their expectations of me (all projection anyway). It is interesting to have pulled this card again, now as an image of the relationship between the divine and me.
I’ve pulled a card today to understand better the Son of Wands reversed, and in this way get a better grip on my stifled relationship between the divine and me.
The card that I have pulled to give me more information is Eight of Cups from the Motherpeace Tarot. Again a card I have pulled in the period leading up to Imbolc, it showed me the reason I work too hard.
The octopus on the card has many arms, and in each arm it holds a different cup. The cups represent feelings. All the cups lead up to the body of the octopus, which represents a ‘core’ of something: for instance a deeply held conviction, value, or the inside of a person. That the cups are all different says that many different feelings are involved in an issue, Thus, the relationship between me and the divine is build up out of many different feelings (arms and cups). All these feelings are connected with my inside world. I can relate this very well to my relation with the divine. Gender-issues, university-training, life-experiences, expectations from others, loyalty, integrity, disappointment, all are, some of them contradicting, cups in the slowly moving arms of the octopus. Each plays its own part in my relationship with the divine. Although the image does not show it clearly, the card calls for looking inward, and reflect on all the feelings, searching for a deeper meaning.
I already said that I picked this card as the reason why I work too hard. The card showed me then that I could not change this attitude towards work so easily. I need that somehow in my life.
Just as the Eight of Cups showed me that I could not easily change myself in someone who does not have a heavy workload, it shows me now, regarding to this issue, that changing my relation with the divine in a happy, uncomplicated relation, in which I feel free and autonomous and which I easily express myself, will be hard. The reason for this are the many different, contradicting, complicated feelings. Looking inwards is what I do and is still needed.