Yesterday I sat on the couch in our living-room hearing this not-yet-familiar low electric buzz within my ear and I thought: “I must not be too critical on myself.” For some years now I have sounds in my ears. They worsened during the last weeks, due to a sinus infection. The moment the sinuses were better, the sounds increased. I can live with it, but I must not make a too great a demand on myself, and I was putting myself down all the time, asking too much of myself in ‘doing things better’.
I often use the tarot to reflect on my behaviour. It is a great tool for that, but I need to look out in being too critical on myself.
All this I was thinking after I had pulled yesterday’s card inspired by Psalm 8
, which sings of how beautiful the world and the heavens are, and humans as well… The card of today shows my new found insight not to think too low of myself. I have pulled the Queen of Pentacles from the Tarot of the Secret Garden. The Queen of Pentacles cares for out health. In this version of the card she holds a stone in her hands and she is looking at it if it is valuable to her. This is me, holding my self-esteem in my hands. It is healthy to value your self-esteem.
Now I think of it, in the course on Tarot and Psalms yesterday there was someone who had pulled this Queen and interpreted it in exactly the same way as I do now. Same Psalm.