The passage from John that I have read today tells again of a miracle (John 6:16-26). After the multiplying of the bread the disciples went into a boat to go to Capernaum. It was dark and a storm came. In the middle of the storm the disciples saw Jesus walking on the sea, coming to them and they were afraid of him. Quite understandable, for no one can walk on water, just as no one can conquer death. After Jesus makes himself known to the disciples saying: “I am. Don’t be afraid,” they take him in the boat. Immediately the boat was at the land where they were heading for.
Belief is vulnerable power. It does not exist. It is not there and yet it there. The disciples trust and believed in what is literally not there. It did not have the tangibility of a pentacle, the flowing water in a cup, the un-ambiguity of a sword, of the hot fire of a wand. Or did it have that all? What is it that we give ourselves to?
I wonder: Why do the disciples take Jesus aboard?
The card that I have drawn is the Seeker of Hearts (Knight of Cups) from the Inner Child Cards.
Pictured on this card is the Tin Man form the Wizard of Ozz. The Tin Man has lost his heart. How he lost it is a sad and long story, but what counts is that he is in search for it, passionately. Although is made of tin and gets rusty when it rains and when he cries, he does want to be touched, and moved, loved and be loved. He wants to feel emotions, his heart beating and hurting.
So, why do the disciples take Jesus aboard? They were in search of a heart, just like the Tin Man. So they opened a little door in their armor and risked feeling the emptiness inside, that it was nothing what they took aboard, and what they believed in. In taking that risk, they met their hearts.
Thus, believing is risking feeling emptiness, feeling lack and feeling vulnerable.