It is morning, it got late the past few days before I finished my entries, I thought to try and write it in the morning.
The passage that I have read today is about the Good Shepherd (John 10:1-18); in fact a worn-out image, but here, but in the picture here and under the cut, seen through the eyes of an artist who positions Jesus in the context of a modern city, it takes on new relevance.
Jesus compares himself in this passage with a shepherd who takes good care of his flock. His view and care for the blind man (see the two entries before this) are an example of his leadership.
Although -or maybe because- the image of Jesus as the Good Shepherd is worn-out, I could, I think, devote a whole week in my journal (or a whole course) on this passage, its structure and its images, but well, I want to pose only question.
In the passage of John that I have read before this one, the sense of ‘seeing’ was a central theme, now ‘hearing’ is the sense that is important. The sheep know the voice of the shepherd; they know the shepherd intimately, they know the good thing they can expect of him. That is the reason the sheep follow him, would not they know his voice, they would run away.
I wonder, what does it mean to know Jesus voice? (I mean here to know him intimately, to know what it stands for.)
I have pulled Nine of Quills (Nine of Swords) from the Tarot of Jane Austen made by chelsearoad.
Again, just like yesterday (the Moon) night-card. We see Catherine here, the heroin from Northanger Abbey. Catherine likes to read Gothic novels, now she lies in a room of an old abbey. Influenced by her novels she is anxious what the shadows hide in this old spooky room. In the morning she will see that it was all imagination. Catherine suspects the owner of the house of killing his wife. In that she was wrong, but she was right not to trust this man, for he banishes Catherine from the house for wrong reasons.
Applying this on knowing what Jesus voice means, it means to me first of all ‘suspicion’. I do not trust his voice. I would love to be able to say how wonderful this shepherd is, how liberating and healing his way of life and words are, but sadly enough, I cannot. Hearing the voice of Jesus means to me: “What am I lured into?”, “What unhelpful pattern I will fall into now?” “Which of my shadows creeps up here?”
One of the meanings of the Nine of Swords is suffering of long-standing problems. What my eye fell on, seeing this card, were the nine quills, neatly sitting in a row in the forefront of the card. Writing in my journal about Jesus in John this Lent, made me realize that I am deeply ingrained with the down-sides of Jesus’ message, more than with the healing side of it: the theme of giving (for me teamed up with love) and the issue of sacrifice. That surprised me, it was a even revelation to me, and yes, working through it by the cards does heal, but I am not there yet (if I will ever).