numb“He has blinded their eyes and he hardened their heart,
Lest they should see with their eyes,
And perceive with their heart,
And would turn,
And I would heal them.”
Referring to the dignified prophet Isaiah, John positions Jesus into the known and much respected tradition. Secondly he makes Jesus important by doing that. It is a of explaining why Jesus his message did not ring true for many people: it was destined, said in the prophecy. After this, nothing else can happen than a death sentence for Jesus. Their heart is hardened by God, their eyes are blinded. They will never believe him. They will kill Jesus.
I have asked two questions.
1.What hardens my heart, so that I cannot perceive with my heart?
2.What blinds my eyes, so that I cannot see.
I have pulled Eight of Cups from the Motherpeace Round Tarot for the first question: what my heart hardens.
There are many cups on this card, all held by the arms of the octopus, leading to one core, the body of the animal. Since these cards are round, they fall in all directions and each directions signifies something else. I have pulled this card with its top to the right. To me now this means that I have tried to reach the core of my being regarding to Jesus, but all those different cups, I could not find a core, I still cannot reach it and I want to stop reaching and searching for it. It makes me so angry that my arms tense up (harden) and typing starts to hurt. Not being able, but wanting to reach a core, hardens my heart.
This card is related to the night-cards I have pulled last week, Nine of Quills and the Moon, and even to the Wheel of Fortune, the card that I pulled the day before yesterday. In in all of them the theme was separating illusion from clarity or truth.
For the second question, what is blinding my eyes, I have pulled Six of Discs reversed.
Six of Discs means sharing, deep contact and generosity, having more than enough to share. When the card is reversed, then it is difficult to make this deep contact; there is no sharing then. The energy is withhold, for instance out of fear that one is depleted after the energy is given. This depicts me, and the card shows my anxiety that I will never be able to change it, to reverse the card so to say.
This card is related to many other cards that I have pulled earlier this Lent about the theme of giving, and it is related to the Regenerator, the Sage of Cups, the card that I have drawn yesterday and which showed that I do not reach out to Jesus, caring about his fears as Mary Magdalene did.
Curiosity kills the cat. I was very curious to know the answers to these questions, but the answers make me feel bound and blindfolded like the woman on the Eight of Swords. More optimistic questions are: “What prevents the hardening of my heart?” and “What prevents the blinding of my eyes?” or: "What makes me believe in Jesus? Too late now. But tomorrow I ask an optimistic question, otherwise I am not going to make it until Easter.
