I have sinusitis again, just as in February. I’ve mailed it to the homeopathic therapist to whom I go with all my ailments, and she finds it a good sign. It is an old complaint, and it comes back to cure itself. I know that it works like that, but when it actually happens, it is hard to believe because I am really not feeling well.
Probably all the sad feelings I have lately can come from the remedies too, she said. Everything can come back, she said, also things from the psyche. But I do not know about that right now. The sound in my ears is really annoying, and my brother found out that he has skin cancer last week. Those things make me sad, especially the message about my brother is shattering.
News that cheered me up is that lecknerlakeis searching the net for images for the Tarot-Animal Oracle as a supplement to the lesson on Strength, because the published edition is sold out.
Tomorrow I have an appointment with somebody to work with our dreams. It is someone with whom I never worked with. I tried a few times in the past weeks to invoke a ‘healing’ dream. But everytime I forgot my wish in the morning, just wanting to keep on sleeping.
So today I have asked the tarot: “How can I remember my healing dreams?”
I have picked the Jane Austen Tarot out of my bag with titles to work with (made by chelsearoad) and from this deck I have pulled The Lovers.
Depicted on the card is a scene from Pride and Prejudice (one I remember from the book). A man called Mr. Darcy is trying to write a letter, but Caroline Bingley is standing behind him trying to distract him. Mr. Darcy has only eyes for Elizabeth Benett, who stands, holding an iris in her hands, at the open window from which comes refreshing air.
This deck makes me feel safe and secure (although there are troublesome cards in it, as in every deck). And sometimes the scent of flowers is accompanying the cards, with the Knight of Wands, and here as well: my eyes keep going to the open window in order to contact the flowers outside. This all teaches me something what I need for healing: to feel safe and comfortable. I do not feel that so much. I am a very anxious person.
I did not ask what I needed to heal, but the card gave me this message. Probably I am subconsciously afraid that the message I will receive in my dream is too challenging, and is that the reason that I do not remember the healing dreams.
The card is (among other things) about being prejudiced. Elizabeth is prejudiced against Mr. Darcy. It is possible that I am in the back of my mind thinking that dreams do not heal. Then they are not important enough to remember.
The card is also about making choices. Choosing for true feelings, and not for social standing (Caroline Bingley is rich and has social standing, Elizabeth is not rich). This means to me in my situation that in order to remember my dreams I need to want to remember them, and not doing it because it is ‘interesting’, or because one ‘should try’ it. That way I am pestering the -wanting-to-get-better- Mr. Darcy in me, who looks to Elizabeth Bennet, and putting down the power of healing in me, represented by Elizabeth with her iris at the window.
The idea for this little spread about my healing dreams was from a little piece called “The Honeysuckle Dreams Spell” written by Sirona Knight, in her book Wiccan Spell a Night. I like the honeysuckle, it gives a lovely scent.
Tonight I keep the iris and the honeysuckle close to my heart.