Tags: five of cups

pink rose

Lent, Tuesday, First Week

I have pulled a card inspired by a story in John in which Jesus chases away the people selling sheep, and doves, and the moneychangers in the temple. The question is: What do I want to chase away in my life?

I’ve pulled a vague card from the Victorian Romantic Tarot: Five of Cups. 


The woman on the card focuses on the past. She should turn around and pick up her flowers. It is the inability to move on, that I want to chase away from my life. I feel like moaning Myrtle, angry about everything. She is lovely here by the way.

A Calf and a Loom returned, Card 3

Today I have read card three from a spread inspired by Brigitte of Kildare.

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1. The woman of the home where Brigid stays the night offers two things for hospitality that are of great value for her livelihood. The question for the card is: two things of great value that I offer in order to be generous and inviting.
2. What is the result for my life, when I have to miss these things (card 1)
3. The woman and the calf are returned. What if Brigid steps in? How will Brigid reward my generosity? (Read the card positively)

I have read card 3 today: What if Brigid steps in? How will Brigid reward my generosity? (Read the card positively)

I have pulled the World from the Victorian Romantic Tarot.


I think Brigitte steps in and brings me these flowers in the basket, the flowers on card 1 of this spread, Five of Cups, to remind me that I need to bring in something of myself in the conversation, that I should not hold myself back through listening emphatically. In that sense she is helping me with a new and improved meaning of hospitality and generosity.
pink rose

A Calf and a Loom returned, Card 1

In a few days Lent starts. But for now I stay with Brigid. Again a spread inspired by a story about her.

Once Brigid it was too late for Brigid to return home at night. She lodged with a poor woman. The poor woman wanted very much to be a good hostess. She killed her only calf, and broke her weaving loom in pieces to make a fire. When Brigid discovered that this woman had done this, that she had gone to such extremes, she vowed to reward the woman for her generosity. In the morning after Brigid had left, the woman found out that the calf and loom were replaced.

1. The woman of the home where Brigid stays the night offers two things for hospitality that are of great value for her livelihood. The question for the card is: two things of great value that I offer in order to be generous and inviting.
2. What is the result for my life, when I have to miss these things (card 1)
3. The woman and the calf are returned. What if Brigid steps in? How will Brigid reward my generosity? (Read the card positively)

I have read card 1 today: two things of great value that I offer in order to be generous and inviting. I have pulled Five of Cups from the Victorian Romantic Tarot. 


I am daydreaming on the card, I am occupied in my own peaceful world. 

give up peace and quietness in order to be generous and inviting. With Pluto adjunct to Mercury (bonding with Venus) and having almost all planets in the seventh House, I often go through heavy processes in my contacts. Peace and quietness is what I give up.

Story from Amber K and Azrael Arynn K. Candlemas: Feast of Flames, Llewellyn, 2003.
Madonna del "Magnificat" (detail)

Seven Caers, Card 1, True Voice

Yesterday I pulled the Chariot from the Arthurian Tarot. In “Hallowquest. The Arthurian Tarot Course” is a spread mentioned that belongs to this card. It is called “Reading of the Seven Caers”. Cears are towers on the cliff tops at the see. For each tower you pull a card.

This first card is pulled for the Tower of the Sea and represents your true voice; what you really saying within. I have drawn Grail Five (Five of Cups). 


On the card is a ship that has sailed out but is without wind now, the sail is slack. I am having a little ‘identity crisis’. I do not know what clothes I want to wear anymore. I am getting older and I cannot wear everything anymore, it just does not look good. Realizing that I get older feels as a loss, theme of the Five of Cups. Another thing is that I do not know what to journal about at the moment. I wish for a long project, but then, I get bored quickly.

Thus, my true voice is saying that I am stuck in the middle of the water without wind. I remember being very afraid of ‘drowning’ (in my fears) last year when I pulled the six of swords time after time (there is a boat on it in many decks), but that is not the case right now. 

The theme was already there in the card of yesterday Prydwen (the Chariot), but hidden.

The energy of the month Nissan, the month of new beginnings, is working in me: No new beginnings and liberation without being stuck first.
heart moving

(no subject)

My blessing of the day was Five of Cups from the Russian Tarot of St. Petersburg, a card of emotional loss and grief. I postponed my involvement in an organization with many troubles and conflicts. I was not part of any of them, I am an outsider, but it affected me and my work. It is sad, but the card is meant as a blessing.  

many hands


It is Rosh Chodesh today, but I almost collapse now, no energy to pull a card. Thursday evening I taught a class, and I did the same on Friday in Amsterdam. On coming back from Amsterdam at seven in the evening I got on immediately on my bike to see my daughter performing on stage with her friends and early this Saturday morning I took the bus to Groningen for a day workshop on Psalms and Tarot, and again got on my bike on coming back the groceries for the weekend.

The workshop on Psalms and Tarot today was a wonderful experience. The group –most of them with no experience in tarot- read very independently and cheerful, while some faced difficult situations. We did a spread about the famous Psalm 23, The Lord is my Shepherd. Someone pulled Ten of Swords as the staff that guided her trough the valley of death. She looked at it, and she looked at it a bit more and she said: That is my optimism. I can be optimistic in extremely difficult circumstances”. Another pulled Eight of Swords as how God anointed her. She said: “God anoints me with/through being open for liberation”. One person draw Five of Cups in the same position. Since she pulled Judgment as the rod to guide her in the valley of death she said that God anointed her by letting her start over, and by helping her not attach too much to material things. I pulled Five of Cups this week, so I liked it that it was pulled and interpreted by someone else. Two persons pulled Seven of Wands, also a card that I pulled this week. It meant for both of them defending themselves by being firm and even angry in standing up for their rights.

We ended with a spread about Psalm 131 about the soul lying restful in the arms of his mother. As last spread it was meant to be restful, but for some difficult mother-images came up. It did not matter really, it stimulated to find a way to be a mother for themselves.

I found a way to tie the spread more closely to the psalm by asking them while sharing to start their sentences with: “My staff is….”, “God anoints me by…”. As always we started and ended the spread by reading the psalm, each a verse. The psalms sound differently after having done a spread about them. Sometimes the verses people read aloud had something to say for them in their situations.

Tomorrow I’ll wash the cups I used on Thursday, I’ll put the pencils away I used on Friday and the decks that were used today.

Tomorrow I hope to decorate an Easter candle with the High Priestess on it. 
helpen van een drenkeling

Wednesday, Fourth Week in Lent

I did not understand my card yesterday, the Five of Cups from the Sacred Rose Tarot. 


I had pulled the card in response to the passage about the disciples in a rocky boat in a storm. They are frightened. Then Jesus comes to them over the water (looking like a ghost) and immediately the boat reaches the shore. I asked in what form Jesus comes to me. At the end of the entry I said that I would dream about it.

I dreamt last night about my grandmother from mother’s side, and there were guinea pigs in the dream. My grandmother lost her husband while she was still young. So she knew what mourning was. I do not know if it helped her, but she loved flowers and plants and in the dream I was at a window till in my grandmothers house with many plants on it. There is a flower on the card, a rose, which is a symbol of hope that corresponds with my dream. The guinea pigs in the dream were probably my thing – we have them as pets, and I can associate them with little cats I’ve dreamt about a few times– but maybe they are not only mine. My grandmother always had a dog and loved it. Maybe the dog was a comfort to her, just as the plants and flowers. So, I in a way dreamt about the card: mourning, growth (green clothes, rose) hope, and comfort. 

When I woke up and saw the card again –not understanding my dream yet- I viewed the woman on the card as a giver of fate, showing me: “These cups that I empty are not there for you any more, but the other one with the rose is.” I was not totally satisfied with that, because the story is about saving people in a crises, the story is not meant as a harsh and difficult message. Besides that, Jesus is not someone who determines ones’ fate. So no…

My husband –who is working on a Good Friday service- emphasized the new life that comes from death/sacrifice. That is story of Jesus’ life. I only saw just now that the blue water from one of the cups streams to the standing cup with the flower in it. So yes, that is valid and true, new life stems from death. That is something Jesus shows me in times of crisis. But –although it is true and it is also a theme on this card- I feel resistance to this interpretation; it stifles and suffocates me. - That physical bit is extremely interesting, but I let it go. It should be a card of rescue.

The interpretation in the comments that Jesus appears to me showing what can be refilled and blossom and shows what nurtures me is more appealing to me. Only, Five of Cups is a card of loss, and often people who pull it do not feel comforted or see hope. It is this way with me too. Looking at the card I do not feel the comfort of the rose and the green clothes of growth. I see the sacrifice of the substance in the cups, the angry face of the (ghostlike!) figure, the wild hair. But when I look at my life right now, today there is a blossom and there is comfort. Other nice things take the place of the loss shown in the Eight of Pentacles and some earlier cards. They give me work… but maybe not so much. 
Madonna del "Magnificat" (detail)

Saturday, Second Week in Lent

As on many days during this Lent I have read a passage in John. The question I have asked the tarot about this passage was: “How can receive life by Jesus?”
I’ve read with the Tarot of the Secret Forest and I have received Five of Cups. I was glad to receive this card. Sometimes I can feel tied to situations or persons or groups, feeling loyal and not wanting to disappoint and hurt them… and not being liked anymore. That feeling of being bound burdens me at the moment in several situations. This card helped me to realize it more and it give me the suggestion of cutting the cords, to feel free to do what I think is best, and what I prefare - thereby probably feeling uncomfortable, but is how Jesus can give me life right now. 


Being caught up in these ties too much was my penance on Ash Wednesday. I almost cried reading it again. And now I understand the card Confusion from the Voyager Tarot -one of the cards I did not understood last week- also. I was confused between me and the other or the others. The question then was: "How can I get up and walk?" (like the sick man at the pool in Batseba)? I know By breaking ties, not confusing me and the other(s). 

St. Godfrey A.D. 1115

Today I have pulled a card inspired by saint, not a nice one. It is St. Godfrey. He was a French monk and abbot during the twelfth century. His monastery flourished under his disciplined leadership. When he was appointed bishop of Amiens, he tried to apply this discipline to all the clergymen. He met so much resistance, that he almost stepped down as bishop. He died before he could do that. 


The lesson of his behavior is that you cannot force people into do something (spritual or on other areas of life) what they do not want to do, or force others to have the same opinion as you.

My question of today is: “How do I react when someone says to me, you’re right, but…?”

I used the Tarot of Jane Austen and pulled the High Priestess. Jane Austen herself represents the High Priestess. 


I laughed long and hard when I saw the card. My reaction is that I hold my tongue, while thinking, “I am right”. Very haughty. But not unwise in many situations.

Sometimes there is another reason to keep silent. I know by experience how difficult it is to do the right thing, or to change a lifelong not-beneficial habit, while you know it is the best thing to do that. And often the circumstances in which people live are complicated, packed with different loyalites for instance.  And although must say I lean too much to the Five of Teacups when I hear sad stories, the 'keep silent part' after hearing them, belongs to the High Priestess. 

Inspired by: Woodene Koenig-Bricker, 365 Saints, Harper San Franciso, 1995.
Madonna del "Magnificat" (detail)

Flaming Heart

The day is almost over now. I am going to pull a card about a text by Thomas Merton (1915-1968), a famous Catholic writer and a Trappic monk. I did not know him, but I found a book written by him in a second hand bookshop, called Dialogues with Silence. Here is a prayer from this book. 

     O flaming Heart,
     Unseen and unimagined in this wilderness,
     You, you alone are real, and here I’ve found You. 
     Here will I love and praise You in a tongueless death, 
     Until my white devoted bones, 
     Long bleached and polished by the winds of this Sahara, 
     Relive at Your command,
     Rise and unfold the flowers of their everlasting spring.

The prayer reminds me of the dried bones in the book of the prophet Ezekiel. These bones rattle and rise up, muscle and skin comes over them and God puts breath in them, so they live again.

The questions that I long to ask the tarot about this prayer in relation to my own life are the following: "How are my bones white and devoted, bleached and polished, praising the unseen flaming Heart (until they live again)?" And, as second question: "When, oh when will my bleached and polished bones rise…unfolding flowers of everlasting spring?"

I have pulled the Inner Child Cards from my little bag with deck-titles to work with. Funny, the prayer is to a flaming Heart, and I have pulled two cards from the suit of Hearts.

So, how are my bones white and devoted, bleached and polished, praising the unseen flaming Heart, until they (my dead bones) live again? In other words, what is it I do all the time, and with it praising the flaming Heart, ending up in death (boldy stated). I have pulled Six of Hearts (Six of Cups) as an answer to this question.


Depicted on the card are mermaids in a sea in an strong, orange evening sun. One of them is flying on a pelican, who holds a wire to pull mermaids out of the sea. Another one is in the middle, holding the wire with one hand and a mermaid with with her other hand. This mermaid is me. Deep-down I have this urge to save. Not that I am actually running around saving everyone, doing good all day. Oh dear no, but I still I have the urge. My savings are to no avail anyway. And I end up somewhere nowhere in the middle of it all, while all was of course meant to bring safety to myself. This habit, which I am devoted to and polishes my white bones, is strong as the orange sun.

The second question was: When will my bleached and polished bones rise…and unfold the flowers of everlasting spring? To this question I have picked Five of Hearts (Five of Cups). A mermaid sits on the seaside on this card, in the quiet night, finding her heart in a treasure-box. The flowers of spring, new life, will come to me when I answer the call of the flaming Heart that calls me up to regain hope by concentrating on my own heart, and putting it inside me as my own safe foundation to live from. 

Johnathan Montaldo (ed.) Thomas Merton, Dialogues with Silence, Harper San Francisco, 2001.